The next steps

For the last several months, I have called a hiatus to life in general while I took some time to figure out what just happened. Have you ever had things happen so fast, you're left wondering "What the what?" That's us lately. Things have slowed down enough for us to start to catch back up.

The doctors are still not sure what's going on with my body entirely. For a little while, I stopped trying to get more answers from medicine since it seemed to get me nowhere. I am back on track and have seen another doctor who is hopeful to find an answer. Next week, I'll be getting an ultrasound done to look for fibroid tumors. I am seriously hoping that is NOT the answer I get, but have made peace with the fact that God is in control and He cares for me.

I have a blog that is more for personal musings where I recently gave a post updating some more information about our journey and some of the things we've faced. If you'd like to read it, I welcome that. Thank you for being you! We love you dearly. The address for that post is: http://655kilmerst.blogspot.com/2012/04/getting-right-down-to-where-ive-been.html
Again it is just a personal blog and I am writing to help process some of what's gone on.

We are not currently making any plans for a long-term return to Guinea-Bissau, but we are staying connected to the project there and plan on short-term trips in the future. We hope to bring a building team at some point to see work done on the orphanage (maybe some of you will be on that building team!). The children there will always be close to our hearts. In the retrospect we've got, we are beginning to see that the greatest difference that can be made for this project is in the area of funding. We can likely do that BEST from here. It's not how we planned it all, but God is great and His plans are better and more complete than ours ever will be.

Jason is still looking for a job. He's had several interviews, and is currently waiting to hear back about two different jobs for which he is in the final phase of consideration. We're praying that he'll get a job soon and this waiting will end. Again, that's in God's hands as well. Once Jason has a job, we'll turn our attention back toward the project in Bissau a bit more.

We appreciate each of you so much and love you tons. Thank you for blessing us with your care and love and generosity towards a small country we love with all our hearts. Guinea-Bissau is a place filled with  hope. Not because the outlook is lovely or because the place is set up for success, but because God dwells there! He has never left and His people are moving by His will there in a mighty way. Guinea-Bissau will be filled with hope as long as God's people turn to Him and seek Him. We are blessed beyond measure to be able to witness the church there stepping up to the aid of orphans to build the second orphanage in the country.

Searching for purpose

where have we been?

Thank you for your patience and love! We have known and felt your prayers surrounding us all along and we are so thankful!

We haven't posted since November. Life has been a series of events that have not been according to our plans at all. Since November, I think we've been on the wildest ride we could have imagined right now. We thought we were in Guinea-Bissau to settle in and begin several years as resident missionaries there. Apparently, God has quite different plans. He wanted us to go to Guinea-Bissau, right? Yes. He did. I've really struggled with understanding this in my heart.

Why did God take us to Bissau for just long enough for our hearts to completely break for the children at the Orphan Home that MAFI is running? Is God being cruel? Is He unaware? I've really struggled with these thoughts and questions. And no, He is right here, beside me. It's one of those "footprints" times for me. I feel like I can't see Him, but it's because He's holding me. God is good, He is faithful, He is God.

Jeremiah 29:11-God knows us and He knows the children in Guinea-Bissau and He has a plan for each one of us. This picture is of Jason with a little girl from the orphanage.

I came home (this is Erica) at the end of October because I am sick. The last three months have been a series of inconclusive doctor's appointments and tests. The only thing they keep telling me is, "well, that's not normal!" After a lengthy separation from Jason, we decided it was best if he came home. My Dad went to visit Guinea-Bissau and to help Jason with the logistics of moving back home. Dad spent just over two weeks with Jason in total, only one of which was actually in Bissau. Their trip home took 8 days from start to finish and everything went according to plan! Jason, Sheba, and my dad arrived in Denver on December 30th. The logistics of moving (moving to a different country is a lot different than taking a trip, even if the trip is several months, and we prepared to MOVE there) to Guinea-Bissau and moving back to the USA (still without a place to call our own home yet) have been staggering (not to mention, doing all that with a Great Dane in tow). Wow. I have been calling it life-size whiplash.

James 1:2-4 & 12

2 Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, 3 because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. 4 Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything. ... 12 Blessed is the one who perseveres under trial because, having stood the test, that person will receive the crown of life that the Lord has promised to those who love him.

We have one more week (and a couple days) until we are able to move back into our house in Golden, CO. Jason is looking for a job and we are no longer living on support. I was offered a job out of the blue. It's from the school I've worked for before. I start work just a couple days before we move into our house. They are very understanding of my physical limitations and need to go for doctor's visits. We believe that God has been at our side in the midst of it all and not for a moment have we slipped from His hands. This journey is good and also very difficult. Those things have coexisted strongly in the last several months.

where to from here?

We have names and faces for the children in Bissau. Even though we're home, our hearts are still in Africa. We've wrestled with what that means and our hearts have hurt over it a lot as well. We received some very encouraging input from one of our supporters asking whether or not they could continue giving to the orphanage itself. We've decided we will be individually giving to the orphanage as well. Where does that leave us? We've got heart for a place we can't live, but maybe God's design is for us to live here and affect Guinea-Bissau entirely differently than we'd imagined. We have enough funding to get the rest of the wall built around the property on King Island. We'll be making sure that funding goes to the project and look forward to seeing it complete. The woman in this picture is taking water up from a well in the center of used tires.

We're really excited because this building project really is the dream of the church in Bissau, it's not originally ours, so we don't have to worry about it not getting done just because we're not there. The momentum is fully built. What seems to be needed is funding for the project. The church's first plan is to build a wall, then a guesthouse for missionaries. This will produce income that will make the orphanage viable once it is built. The last piece of the puzzle is the orphan home on King Island. Beyond that, there'll be implementation of a school, a possible agriculture program, but we're getting ahead of ourselves. Jason's worked out plans for a preliminary wall that accomplishes the needs of making the land fully available for the church. Our friends in Bissau are working on making that come together and we have the funds for making that wall happen.

In the next year, I, in particular, need to recover. We both need emotional recovery time, I need to get my physical issues worked out and then recovered, and we need to let God breathe new life to our plans and ideas. Please pray with us that this will come together under God's direction and that we will be able to rest and recover from this "whiplash."

We love you dearly and thank you for being with us! God bless you!

Erica Feucht